


Nerf Guns at Sundown

by TracedInAir



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: 1k words of soft cuddles, 3k words of pure shenanigans, Akko ambushes Diana with a nerf gun, Comedy, Diakko Day 2021, F/F, Fluff, Humour, based off that viral post everyone's seen, except they both cheat horrendously with magic, what more could you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:00:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29141883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TracedInAir/pseuds/TracedInAir
Summary: Dear Diana.Welcome home from work, hope you had a great day! Now welcome to your evening’s entertainment!The Nerf gun you see levitating in front of you is yours. This is obviously a very exciting thing to find out on its own, but even more importantly, I have one too!And Amanda taught me how to shoot.The rules are simple. Whoever lands more shots on the other before sundown gets to pick the movies for cuddles later!Hope you like Ghibli.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Comments: 25
Kudos: 108





	Nerf Guns at Sundown

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this one lovably dorky as hell post that's been done like 20 different times but I love anyway: https://i.insider.com/55c0d867dd08957f6d8b469d
> 
> This is for Diakko Day 2021! Been a blast so far, and can't wait to see what else everybody comes up with! Really loved today, and here's hoping next year's even better!

One unfamiliar with her habits might not have been immediately able to tell, but Diana Kagari-Cavendish was in a chipper mood that fine evening. Her expression was neutral as ever, but with a glimmer to her eyes, as if a small, contented smile was written in her heart, even if not upon her face. There was, if not a  _ spring _ to her step, then a certain carefree, almost excited character to her gait.

There was no particular  _ reason _ for it, of course. Diana’s day had been much like any other, researching ancient Celtic healing spells, helping mentor some of the junior doctors on their placements, and a lunchtime meetup in town with Hannah, Barbara and the welcome surprise of Jasminka. A lovely day, all in all, but not unusually so.

And now, she was returning home to her wife.

Admittedly, she  _ had _ been texting Akko all day, during her brief moments of free time. They’d even had a five minute call on her way back to her office after lunch! But for the last hour or so, there had been a curious silence from Akko’s end. She hadn’t even responded to Diana’s,  _ “On my way home, I shall see you shortly, my love,” _ that she’d sent before hopping on her broom.

Something was amiss.

And as Diana made her way into the entrance hall, she understood precisely  _ what _ that was.

_ Dear Diana. _

_ Welcome home from work, hope you had a great day! Now welcome to your evening’s entertainment! _

_ The Nerf gun you see levitating in front of you is yours. This is obviously a very exciting thing to find out on its own, but even more importantly, I have one too! _

_ And Amanda taught me how to shoot. _

_ The rules are simple. Whoever lands more shots on the other before sundown gets to pick the movies for cuddles later! _

_ Hope you like Ghibli. _

_ Oh, and look up. _

Diana glanced upwards.

Akko dived out of a hallway to her side and fired.

“That is  _ incredibly _ unsporting!” Diana spluttered, moving to snatch the Nerf gun out of the air as Akko laughed maniacally. Akko sprinted across the hall, her wand glowing in her other hand as her spent ammunition flew back into her gun in preparation for her next attack.

Akko fired another shot.

Diana’s wand was up in a flash.  _ “Biega Vida!” _

The “bullet” hung suspended in the air between them.

“OK, time out!” Akko called, her hands flying to her hips still holding her gun and wand. “That’s cheating!”

“I fail to see how using magic is cheating when you yourself are already doing so,” Diana noted with a raised brow. “Not to mention that this fight  _ began _ with unfair, deceptive tactics on your part.”

“Yeah but if we just block every attack with magic then there’s no point!” Akko protested, waving her gun around. “Although actually…” she scratched her chin with her wand, a devious smile appearing on her face, “that’d just mean I win one-nil by default! Might as well go check if WitchFlix has  _ Spirited Away _ now…”

Diana paused. “Perhaps I could be persuaded to reconsider my stance?”

“Thought you might.” Akko smirked.

“However, we are still permitted to use magic for utility or misdirection purposes?” Diana queried.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Akko agreed.

“Very well.” Diana nodded. “May the best woman win.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Simultaneous shots exploded from each of their Nerf guns, both of them dodging back as they fired. The shots sailed far wide of their marks, Akko firing another retreating shot as she dashed down a hallway.

Wait. If Akko just ran away the entire time, Diana was guaranteed to lose.

“Akko! Get back here, you blasted coward!” Diana called, breaking into a run as she followed the trail of Akko’s wild laughter through the house.

* * *

Diana scanned the dining room. No sign of Akko, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t here. Akko could be remarkably stealthy when she put her mind to it. Ninja heritage, she claimed. Having met the Kagaris, Diana was somewhat doubtful.

Fortunately, Akko had some other characteristics that Diana could use to her advantage. Traits and habits that Diana had come to love dearly over the many years of knowing this wonderful woman, but which she was now going to exploit mercilessly.

Trait one: her impatience.

And so, Diana waited. And waited. She could almost  _ feel _ Akko’s jitters, her  _ need _ to move around, to do  _ something. _ Diana knew Akko, and she  _ knew _ that she wouldn’t be able to stay still for long.

Suddenly, Diana dashed across the dining room, firing a shot towards the door to the kitchen.

Akko dived out from under the table, Nerf gun at the ready. 

The fool.

Diana’s bullet curved, glowing green as it suddenly whipped towards where Akko had jumped out from. Diana, who had planned her feinting run’s trajectory for exactly this purpose, lifted a silver dish lid and blocked Akko’s shots easily as her own bullet found its mark.

“One-all,” Diana said, failing to keep the satisfaction from her voice, bearing down menacingly on Akko with her makeshift shield in hand.

“For now!” Akko called back as she  _ tactically retreated _ back into the hallway.

“Precisely my thoughts,” Diana said, twirling her wand and following.

* * *

As Diana tread carefully through the servant’s corridors, she had a moment free to muse on the second trait of Akko’s which she could exploit: her predictability.

Others might have seen Akko as unpredictable, but not Diana. For all of Akko’s wild nature and spontaneity, there was still a certain characteristic “Akko-ness” to her behaviours that Diana knew and loved well. Akko’s wild antics always had a form of underlying logic that merely required one to understand how Akko’s wonderful mind worked. It was at once reassuring in its familiarity, and exciting in its creativity.

To one who knew Akko as well as Diana did, it was simplicity itself to surmise her approach. Akko would assume that her friendly relationship with the staff would give her the advantage when it came to moving around the various hidden servant corridors of the manor.

She was, once again, a fool.

Diana had been planning for  _ years _ to demolish the servant corridors and build a more open connection between the manor proper and the staff quarters. Gone would be the days of their hardworking staff having to remain hidden from her aunt’s disdainful view. When they had the funds of course.

But this meant that Diana had spent plenty of time looking over the manor’s structure and layout, deciding on the most elegant way to rearrange the corridors when her renovations began. As such, her knowledge of the staff corridors was nigh-unparalleled.

And based on that knowledge, Akko would almost certainly be hiding in the little blind spot around the next corner to the right.

Diana had to fight herself to stop from giggling, time to use one of Akko’s favourite tricks against her.

Diana stood perfectly still, while an identical replica of herself carefully stepped around the corner. On cue, the  _ clack-clack _ of Akko’s Nerf gun echoed from just out of vision. With a small cry of victory, Diana strode around the corner, her own gun raised and primed to fire at—

Akko’s phone, hovering in the air and playing an audio clip of a Nerf gun firing.

Diana whipped around, but it was too late. The door to her  _ left _ opened, and Akko sprayed her entire arsenal straight at Diana, wide open from nearly point blank range.

Diana managed to dodge some of them.

But not all.

“Three-one to Akko!” Akko cried successfully, her phone flying back into her hand along with her ammunition, swinging the door shut before Diana had a chance to make a counterattack.

Diana allowed herself a moment. She stood perfectly still, posture as pristine as ever, despite the Nerf gun in her hand.

Then she laughed and laughed and  _ laughed. _

Serve her right for believing she could  _ ever _ truly predict Akko Kagari-Cavendish.

* * *

The back and forth continued throughout the manor. Diana had clawed it back to three-two with some clever use of alchemical magic in the kitchen, then as far as three-three with a  _ particularly _ shameless tactic in their bedroom.

Never underestimate the effectiveness of Exploitable Akko Trait number three: loving her wife.

However, Akko had been less distracted than Diana had hoped, and had made it four-three merely moments later as Diana had allowed herself to enjoy Akko’s flustered expression for  _ just _ a little too long.

Which left them as they were, back in the entrance hall, with Akko a point up and the sun already approaching the horizon. Diana needed to do something, and swiftly.

Unfortunately, Akko was being unsporting again.

“Akko, I can’t shoot at you there, I might hit the chandelier,” Diana pleaded.

Akko yawned exaggeratedly, stretching out on the invisible disc of air that was holding her up next to the chandelier. “Sounds like a you problem, to be honest.”

“Akko, this is your home as well!” Diana argued. “Neither of us wants to see that chandelier damaged.”

“Sounds like I win then!” Akko hopped up and bowed on her little podium. “Better luck next time, oh noble rival of mine.”

“Akko!”

“Hmm,  _ Totoro _ or  _ Kiki’s _ for the second film…” Akko scratched her chin thoughtfully. “Ooo, how about  _ Princess Mononoke?” _

“I’ve already seen  _ Kiki’s Delivery Service,”  _ Diana said. Wait, that wasn’t the point! “Akko, I’ve already told you to come down from there!”

“Gah, fine, if it’ll get you to stop whining!” Akko called back with an exaggerated strop. “Such a sore loser.”

Diana folded her arms. A chorus of giggles rang out from the next room over. “Don’t think I didn’t hear that!” Diana glared daggers through the door.

“Heard what, Lady Kagari-Cavendish?” One of the newer staff members—Kate, was it? No, Caroline—poked her head through the door. “Just here to tell you dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes. And um, good luck!”

Caroline’s head disappeared back through the door as a storm of ammunition came flying from out of the corner of Diana’s vision. Diana, however, was ready this time, hopping into the air with a shout of  _ “Tia Frey!” _ and soaring above each shot Akko fired.

“Ack!” Akko tried to float away from Diana’s counterattack, hovering towards the wall, but Diana’s control over this particular spell was on a much higher level. Diana practically blurred, flying through the air at dizzying speeds and sending a barrage at Akko from six different directions, making it downright impossible to dodge every single one.

Akko ducked below two, evaded two more out of sheer luck, and only got struck by one, directly to the nose.

“Ow!” Akko shouted, patting her nose.

Right as the sixth bullet flew into the frame of the painting that hung at the end of the entrance hall. The  _ several hundred year old _ painting depicting the foundation of the Cavendish House, preserved carefully over the centuries. A painting so precious to their family even  _ Daryl _ had never considered selling it.

The painting fell.

And hung in midair, as Akko’s wand lashed out towards it.

A moment of silence rang out through the entrance hall.

“…Might I propose that the conclusion to our duel take place outdoors?” Diana suggested.

“…Sounds good.” Akko nodded quickly, levitating the portrait back into place with delicate care. She  _ was _ part of the family, after all.

* * *

The sun hung low in the sky, casting the great, moat-ringed front of Cavendish Manor with the warm orange glow of sunset. Diana and Akko stood at opposing ends of the circular garden, Nerf guns and wands at the ready.

“Three…” Akko counted down, practically vibrating from the nervous energy.

“Two…” Diana remained as composed as ever.

“One…” They raised their weapons in unison.

In lieu of an official starting declaration, they each yelled incantations, casting their opening salvo for the battle. All six of Diana’s bullets launched into the air, green magic trailing from each as they weaved around Diana, like bees protecting their queen, ready to strike down all those who stood before her.

Akko, meanwhile, split herself into three, two of her dashing around the perimeter to flank Diana. Diana kept her eye warily on all three, Akko had already proved herself duplicitous enough that Diana was unwilling to merely assume the central one was the real one.  _ Nor _ would she assume that the central one was obviously a clone. It  _ could _ be a double bluff, after all.

Diana held her position. Walking forwards would only play into Akko’s hands, having the manor doors to her back would reduce her chances of being surrounded. Akko seemed just fine with that, continuing to dash forward with all three copies.

_ “Metamorphie Faciesse!” _

Hearing the spell in triplicate was unusual, but even that was nothing compared to the sight of Akko transforming into three different animals simultaneously.  _ That _ was impressive. Diana couldn’t do that. In fact, Diana wasn’t sure if she knew of a single person alive other than Akko who could do that. This had just got interesting.

The Akko to her right launched into the sky as an almost stylised “cutesy” red robin, using the trees to stifle Diana’s vision despite her bright colouration. The Akko to her left became a purple whale, diving into the moat with a huge splash. The Akko in front of her turned into an over-large, orange mole, disappearing under the ground with its comically sized paws.

Stealth on all three fronts. Perhaps she  _ was _ a ninja after all.

Diana calculated quickly. The greatest risk came from Akko’s mole form, if she simply burrowed under Diana’s position, she’d be able to attack her with near impunity, and Diana’s protective swarm of Nerf bullets would be powerless to stop her.

Of course, Akko had likely planned for that, and could be using the mole clone as a decoy to force Diana into a position that made her more vulnerable to one of the other two forms, but she couldn’t risk second-guessing herself into an easy loss.

With her mind made up, Diana called out  _ “Tia Frey!” _ and rose into the air like she had just a few minutes prior. Her sentry bullets adjusted, circling around her in a protective, three-dimensional sphere, ready to respond to an attack from any direction.

Which arrived immediately.

Akko’s robin form darted out of the trees, much higher than Diana had expected, and soared upwards, arcing into a dive straight towards Diana’s position. This  _ had _ to be a clone, Akko had left herself completely undefended with this attack. Which meant this was a feint, designed to draw Diana’s attention.  _ But, _ because this was  _ Akko, _ there was still a chance that this was just some kind of maniacal double bluff, meaning Diana still had to bloody defend against it.

Sure enough, as Robin Akko’s dive bomb hit near terminal velocity, she transformed back into herself, launching a spray of Nerf bullets at Diana. Diana carefully brought a single one of her own sentry bullets to block, nodding with grim satisfaction when Akko’s shot fazed harmlessly out of existence. So it  _ was _ a bluff.

Which meant the real Akko would be attacking right now.

Akko’s mole form erupted from the ground directly beneath Diana, her trajectory sending her flying upwards, already transforming and taking aim.

A critical error.

Diana had been expecting her attack, and sent four of her five remaining bullets streaking through the air towards Akko. Leaving only a single bullet for defence was insane in any other circumstance, but even if Akko’s whale form  _ was _ the real one, it was far too ponderously large for her to be able to realistically mount an attack from the moat quickly enough to punish Diana’s lowered defences.

Akko’s plan had failed.

Diana’s four magically propelled bullets obliterated Akko’s recently-underground clone, leaving only the real Akko left, somewhere in the moat. Now all Diana had to do was track her down. Probably not  _ hard, _ given the size of her whale form—

A speck appeared at the corner of her vision.

Diana whipped around in shock to see a brightly coloured flying fish glinting in the sunset, launching at her like an arrow fired from the sun itself.

_ “What!?” _ Diana gasped, willing her spent bullets to fly upwards and defend herself from Akko’s attack, but it was too late. Akko had already transformed back, firing shot after precise shot directly at Diana’s position as she flew closer.

Diana launched her one remaining sentry bullet straight at Akko, hoping to be able to at least scramble a draw out of the situation, but it wasn’t to be. Despite her best efforts to weave and dodge, three of Akko’s bullets struck home, each one a shattering blow to Diana’s ego.

Not even the sight of her own bullet striking directly against Akko could salvage the sinking feeling of defeat within Diana’s stomach. She had lost.

At the very least, she could be a gracious loser.

Diana casually snatched her wife out of midair with a flourish and a spin. Akko giggled all the while, a giddy smile plastered onto her face as she found herself in Diana’s arms, hair completely askew from her impromptu flight. “I won!”

“Yes, you did,” Diana acknowledged gravely. “Seven hits to five, I believe. Congratulations.”

Akko giggled again, looping her arms over the back of Diana’s neck as she rambled. “Did you see the flying fish trick!? I  _ knew _ you’d think I was double bluffing and that the mole was the real me, but it was a  _ triple _ bluff! I transformed again as soon as I hit the water, and used the splash to cover it while you were distracted by the mole and the robin!”

“I confess to falling for your ruse hook, line and sinker, as it were,” Diana acknowledged, a wry smile playing at the corner of her lips.

“Turns out the fish caught you!” Akko giggled, leaning into Diana’s joke even as she leaned in towards Diana herself. “And now that I’ve got you in my clutches…” Akko’s grin turned devilish, eyes fluttering shut as she closed the remaining distance between their lips.

Maybe losing wasn’t so bad after all.

* * *

Diana ran her hands softly through Akko’s hair, letting the brown strands cascade through her fingers. Akko preened like a cat, stretching out on the sofa and letting out happy mumbles as Diana soothed her scalp. Night had long since blanketed the manor, but the gentle light and warmth of the fireplace was more than enough for them.

“I used to have such a crush on her,” Akko admitted with a soft chuckle, inclining her head very slightly towards the screen where a girl stalked through the woods flanked by a large wolf.

Diana took the opportunity to lower her hand to the base of Akko’s neck, scratching a little and enjoying the feeling of Akko’s head twisting happily in her lap as she stretched. “This is the Princess Mononoke, then?” Diana asked.

“Her name’s San, silly,” Akko attempted to raise a hand to flick Diana’s nose, but got tired halfway through and let her arm fall down with a slump over Diana’s knee. “This is why I won.”

“Because you know the name of a character in a film you have watched a dozen times, which I have never seen before?” Diana nudged Akko forwards slightly so she could move her hand to Akko’s shoulder and press in with her thumbs for an impromptu massage.

Akko let out a deep noise of appreciation, eyes fluttering shut as Diana continued to pamper her. Akko liked back rubs, and massages, and being looked after in general. Naturally, Diana had booked herself onto a massage course a year or so into their relationship. It wouldn’t do to accidentally hurt Akko, after all.

“Yeah…” Akko yawned, curling herself against Diana. “Mmm, you gotta stop that or I’ll fall asleep…” she whispered, rolling her shoulder away from Diana’s touch.

“Well you  _ did _ have a very exciting evening, after all.” Diana could feel the little smile coming onto her face, the one that found its way there when she was truly content. Akko turned her head to gaze up at her from her lap, and Diana could see the same smile there on her wife’s face.

Not exactly the same, of course. One unfamiliar with Akko’s habits may have been unable to tell the difference between this smile, and one of the many myriad others that graced her features. Diana knew each one. She knew Akko’s “happy to see her friends again” smile, Akko’s “saw a really cool spell” smile, even Akko’s “annoying Daryl because she was a gremlin in human form” smile… Diana could tell you just from a glance whether Akko was smiling at one of Amanda’s jokes, or at something Constanze had made, or at Sucy finally showing a heart for once.

This smile… Diana wouldn’t call it her favourite, for she loved each and every one of Akko’s smiles. But this smile, the one Akko wore when she was content, relaxed, and bathing in Diana’s love for her… Diana  _ did _ have quite a fondness for this particular smile.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Akko mumbled, her eyelids starting to droop.

“How much I love your smiles,” Diana said simply.

Akko’s smile grew somehow even brighter. “You’d think you’d get bored of them,” she chuckled. “At least when  _ you _ smile, I know it’s something special.”

Diana shook her head. “It is the same for you, my love. It is simply the case that for you, everything is special. Every little moment of wonder causes you to light up like the stars themselves, and it is a  _ joy _ to behold the love you have, and a  _ privilege _ to experience the warmth of that love each and every day, my darling.”

“You’re so poetic when you’re loving me, you know that?” Akko gazed upon Diana like she radiated all of the light of the sun and moon at once. “We should get all the little things you say about me and publish them. Imagine that, Diana Kagari-Cavendish, MD, PhD, Saviour of Magic  _ and _ internationally renowned poet.”

Diana chuckled softly. “I’m not sure my musings would have the same value to others as they do you, my darling.”

“Sucks to be them.” Akko giggled. “They don’t get to know how amazing it is to be in love with the greatest woman in the whole world.”

“Nor do you, for that honour is mine alone.” Diana trailed her hand up to Akko’s cheek, gently stroking it through curtains of brown hair.

“I think we just have the best relationship in history.” Akko nodded seriously, a silly grin threatening to split her face. “Like, this is it. Love as a concept has peaked. Everyone else just has to get used to not being as good.”

“A bold claim, but one I can’t help but find myself agreeing with.” Diana giggled, seeing the grin erupt onto Akko’s face like she’d hoped it would. “After all, how many other relationships involve Nerf gun fights?”

“A few,” Akko admitted sheepishly. “I saw the idea on the Internet. But  _ they _ don’t have  _ magic Nerf gun fights!” _

“Ah, you are correct once again.” Diana nodded sagely. “This confirms it, our relationship is truly the greatest in all of history.”

“Good, you get it!” Akko smiled, letting her eyes drift shut, twisting her face into Diana’s delicate fingers. “I don’t wanna fall asleep,” Akko whispered. “I wanna be here with you.”

“I will be here when you wake, darling,” Diana promised, stroking Akko’s cheek gently.

“Mhm,” Akko mumbled. “Stay with me til I sleep, then,” she asked softly. “I wanna dream of you.”

Diana’s heart melted.

“As long as you need, my love,” Diana whispered back. “I will always be here.”

“Good… love you…” Akko muttered softly, curling up once again and resting her head on Diana’s lap.

“Good night, Akko,” Diana whispered, stroking her fingers through Akko’s hair again until she heard gentle snoring, and then a little more thereafter, because how could she not? “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews / comments welcome as always and sorry to assault you with fluff like that at the end (jk I apologise for nothing)


End file.
